I feel old

Today's word is "Development"

Main Entry: de•vel•op•ment
Pronunciation: di-'ve-l&p-m&nt, dE-
Function: noun
1 : the act, process, or result of developing
2 : the state of being developed
3 : a developed tract of land; especially : one with houses built on it

Where does the time go? Am I really that old? What does time and age have to do with development? Everything!

Fourteen years ago where were you? I know where I was. I was at the Sharp Hospital…walking down the hallway with a 10 pound 13 ounce blanket wrapped bundle of joy in my arms...otherwise known as my first child…Djr. Man has the time flied past and that small (ok, so 10 lbs 13 oz is not all that small) bundle has some how, against my permission (and knowledge) has developed into a young man of 14. Damn I feel old!

Excuse me while I take a walk down memory lane:

1st year – Unlike some fathers, I actually looked forward to getting up in the middle of the night to nurse and change my little rug rat. Many nights I would fall asleep, slouched in the rocking chair with the bundle of joy and pride on my chest emitting enough heat for a small furnace. I think perhaps that is why Djr and I are so close to this day. It was during this first year that I also discovered that he had a liking for potted soil. His mother, Thing 1, always had large potted plants in the house which were just at the right height for him to crawl to and help himself to the soil. Gave a whole new meaning to the term “Dirty Boy”.

2nd year – I well recall our “game”. He’d waddle over to the book case and proceed to pull all my books off of it and then site there with this “Look what I’ve done” smile on his face…proud as can be he was. I’d move him away and put the books back on the book case. He’d sit the patiently waiting for me to be done and then waddle back over and take them off again.

3rd year – Can you say Power Rangers? I believe that during this year I saw every episode of the Power Rangers they ever created. OK, I admit that I liked watching them as well….there! Ya happy now!?! Many hours spent snuggled up together on the couch watching the flips and jumps. I also recall doing a lot of reading to at this stage in his life. A lot of bonding time which looking back now seems like it was not nearly enough.

4th year – Work was very busy this year but I still recall the highlight of it. A Bigfoot Power Truck. This was a small version of the Monster Truck called Big Foot that ran on a large 9 volt battery. He drove that truck all over the place outside and inside when he could. He had gotten a bike for his birthday but never learned how to ride it because he never touched it. He wore out a set of wheels and batteries on his Big Foot. Of course I ordered a new set and new batteries. I lost track of the number of times I was “run over”. Good times for sure.

5th year – I think this is where things changed. Two very important events happened in this year of his young life. One, he started school and two, Thing 1 and I got a divorce. I was laid up with a back injury so before the divorce thing happened, I spent a great deal of time at home with him…taking him to kindergarten and picking him up afterwards (it was only half a day after all). Though things went south with Thing 1 and I, when he graduated from Kindergarten, I was the only one there to see it.

I know that they can not always stay the way they were and that as time moves on, so will they. Every day brings new experiences to them. Some good and some bad. Life is an ever changing thing and they will change along with it…no matter how we wish that they wouldn’t. While a part of my heart longs once again to be able to hold him in my arms and rock him to sleep while keeping him safe and warm my brain knows that he has to make his own way in life and the best I can do is be there with him when he does. Still, why do they have to grow up so fast!?!

He’ll always be my baby.