The Letter D

Despair

2007-08-28T21:46:00.000-07:00

despair

Main Entry: 1de•spair
Pronunciation: di-'sper
Function: verb
Etymology: Middle English despeiren, from Anglo-French desperer, from Latin desperare, from de- + sperare to hope; akin to Latin spes hope -- more at SPEED
intransitive verb : to lose all hope or confidence

The stars are not wanted now, put out every one;
Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun;
Pour away the ocean and sweep up the wood.
For nothing now can ever come to any good.

August 26th 10:45am MST I lost what I can only describe as a Soul Mate. You hear people talk of finding their Soul Mate and feeling complete, Yin to Yang. I can attest to this as Diana completed me in so many ways that I would never be able to describe them in words.

I met Diana over 10 years ago and there was something which drew me to her as no other had. It was not long before we were close and had declared our love for each other to each other. Both of us being married at the time this did little to affect how we felt about each other. We both knew that we had obligations (marriages) and we were content to allow our commitments to take precedence over our feelings. We both felt that it was the proper thing to do. Still, love will not, cannot, be denied and so we accepted what we had and left it at that. There was nothing further that could be done and we were both happy as it was.

While to our closest friends our love for each other was plain to see I have no doubt, just how deep it went I think was unknown at the time to even us. We spent a great deal of time talking to each other, sharing our inner most secrets. Our fears and dreams. Two creative minds from which world sprang into being and live were created. Our relationship was one that we were content to merely be in each other’s company if even only through cyber space. For years we expressed our feeling through our characters as you see we were both writers and shared a deep creative passion for the telling of stories.

Through the years we built a world which was ours and through Wenn & Wolf we could express our love for each other. Through the years that followed life often got in the way and caused me to be absent for months at a time yet each time life allowed me to surface for air it was always to see her once again and enjoy her company. There was no feeling of reproach for my absence, only an acceptance of the fact that I had return if even only for a short time. We placed no demands upon each other’s time as we were secure in our love for each other. For over ten year’s her love has sustained me through some of the worse times in my life. When life was at its worst I always knew that she was there and that she loved me, unquestioning, undemanding, unjudgemental and ever giving. She was my heart, my soul and I the lucky fool that I am was blessed to not only stand within her light but to oft be the focus of it...and now she is gone and I despair for there is a void, an emptiness which will never again be filled. The funny thing is that until I met her I never knew that void was there but now having known her and lost her I will forever be acutely aware of the absence of her presence.

I morn, but not for her passage, rather for my pitiful self who is left here without her, unable to follow her on her journey from this life. Life here is but one step upon a longer journey which we all must take. I know that I will see her again some place, some time but not yet though as I have much yet to do here.

Diana, as you already know, wolves mate for life. You will always be my Alpha wolf and the only one for me. In your own words one last time:

"Min Feill Sha`naigh... My Beloved Wolf... My love for you hath no bounds."

Home Sweet Home

2007-06-11T22:27:00.000-07:00

Domicile
Main Entry: 1do·mi·cile
Function: noun
Etymology: Middle English, from Middle French, from Latin domicilium, from domus
1 : a dwelling place : place of residence : HOME
2 a : a person's fixed, permanent, and principal home for legal purposes b : RESIDENCE 2b

Once again home is as it should be. We've had company for the last 10 days which has made it very hectic around. Company is good but it changes things from the norm. Sometimes it is good to return to the normalness of life.

Don'y get me wrong, I really like T & L and their 2 year-old son C was a blast to have around. I've known T since he was 9...some 20 years now. They are all good people and C...well I had fogotten what it was like to have little feet running around the house. What was amazing to me is that at only 2 he could talk your ear off and use full length sentances to do it. What a cutie!

I'll be keeping this one short as the next one I have to talk about D Jr. and it is sure to be a long one.

...and 1 more makes 4

2007-05-22T21:46:00.000-07:00

Dependent
de·pen·dent (dĭ-pěn'dənt) Pronunciation Key adj.
Contingent on another.
Subordinate.
Relying on or requiring the aid of another for support: dependent children.

Wow has it really been a week since my last post? Time really seems to fly these days.

Eye doctors exam went well and within the next 8-10 business days I'll be sporting, for the first time ever, a new stylin pair of glasses. They'll be strictly for reading and computer time. The Doc assured me that it should go a long way in stopping all the headaches I've been having every day.

Got an interesting phone call from Thing 2 yesterday. Wanted to know if she died tomorrow would I be willing to take custody of her son so that he and my Princess wouldn't be separated. Never mind that I don't have a legal right to him at this point. The question actually got me thinking...if you were asked that question how in the owrld could anyone say no? Granted now someone who didn't love kids could probably say no but still it's just an akward question to ask or anyone that you're not related to.

Is it just me.....

2007-05-16T16:01:00.000-07:00

Declinede·cline Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[di-klahyn] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation verb, -clined, -clin·ing, noun
–verb (used with object)
9. to fail in strength, vigor, character, value, etc.; deteriorate.
10. to fail or dwindle; sink or fade away: to decline in popularity.

While admittedly today’s word has many meaning and can be used in many ways I've selected the 9th & 10th definitions of it.

Like it or not, we start life at the top of our journey and we travel downwards from there. Each day, at the broadest terms, brings a decline to our life. One less day we'll be here on this hunk of rock. This, in most cases is not a bad thing but rather just a fact of what is or more importantly, what will be.

For the most part as we are children we think nothing of this. We are secure in our knowledge that we have the rest of our lives ahead of us and there will be plenty of time to worry about it then...later...not now.

As teenagers/young adults we are too full of ourselves to notice the passing of time. We are young, we know it all and the world is ours for the taking. We see ourselves as reaching new heights and the world spreading out before us as if we've reached a mountain plateau with a breath taking vista before us.

As adults our world is filled with work and raising a family. There is never enough time to worry about anything other than what the day will bring or possibly looking forward to the weekend. Even then there is always more to do than there are hours in a day. We strode boldly through life assured in our capability to handle anything life may throw at us. We drive ourselves forward headless of what demands we ask of our bodies knowing only that we are young and we can accomplish anything we put our minds to.

I once thought that way. I was there with the best of them, no thought to the future. No worries about tomorrow. Declining was something grand parents or great grandparents did. While, I am neither a grandparent or a great grandparent but it seems that I am starting to pay for the "Sins of my youth" as the syaing goes.

I won't go into what exactly those sins are as well...that would just take too long. I started noticing changes a few years ago. First there are the usual ones. It takes longer to heal than it did before. Waking up in the morning with aches and pains and you go to jump out of bed to start the day only to realize you're still sitting on the bed. Foods you use to love to eat before not play murder on your stomach. Where I use to be able to stay up till the late hours of the night and get up at the crack of dawn I now find myself going to bed earlier and hitting the snooze button more often than I should in the morning. Mostly due to being very reluctant to leave the warmth of my covers.

Even those things which were once perfect have begun to change and betray me. I use to have perfect eye sight…a fact for some strange reason I have always been proud of. Don’t ask me why as I have no control over that. About a year ago I started to notice a slight blurring around the edges of words when reading. This has progressed to the point that now my arms are not long enough to hold the paper away from me to be able to read it. Nothing like having to lay the paper on a table and step back from it just to read the print. So come Monday I’ll be making a trip to see the eye doctor so he can tell me I need glasses.

Yes, I thought I was invulnerable and that my eyes would last me forever. In my arrogance I had even convinced myself that staring at a computer screen for 12+ hours a day for 20 years wouldn’t hurt me. Oh the ignorance of youth!

Some lessons in life we learn early, some we learn later and some we never learn at all.

There goes the bank roll

2007-05-11T22:31:00.000-07:00

Delay
delay[1,noun]delay[2,verb]DeLay
Main Entry: 1de·lay
Function: noun
Date: 13th century
1 a: the act of delaying : the state of being delayed b: an instance of being delayed
2: the time during which something is delayed

OK, this is a cheap tie in to todays word. Is it just me or does Blogger seem to run slower since switching over to Google? Granted it could just be me but it sure seems to take longer to log in now. Perhgaps I'm just getting old(er)?

Busy weekend ahead but I wanted to make sure to drop in and say a few things. Went to Fry's yesterday. Anyone who doesn't know what Fry's is...well the best way to desribe it would be "Computer Geek Boy Heaven". I spent far more than I had intended to...par for the course for that place. I did manage to pick up a SAN (Storage Area Network) device. It's pretty cool as it hold 500GB of info and connects directly to the router/network here at the house. New toys are always good!!

Been a while

2007-05-09T11:05:00.000-07:00

Main Entry: dusty
Function: adjective
Inflected Form(s): dust·i·er; -est
Date: 13th century
1: covered or abounding with dust
2: consisting of dust : powdery
3: resembling dust
4: lacking vitality : dry

OK, so I finally showed back up and dusted off the place. I make no promises to how often I'll be posting though. Life is busier than ever these days and the days, despite the time change, just aren't long enough it seems.

On a good note though two days ago I started walking again. Did 1.4 miles the first night and 2.1 miles last night so needless to say I am hurting today. I'll be out walking again tonight even though last night was kind enough to give me a blister on my right foot. I'm going to give this another go though now that the weather is nicer. It's hard when you get home it's already dark out and its cold (well cold for southern Cali) out. Just couldn't get motivated in those kind of conditions. On a goo note D Jr. has walked both nights with me which gives us time to talk and have those "Male Bonding" moments.

His school did go to well last grading perios. Somehow he managed to take a B, B, C & A and in 2 weeks drop them to a D, F, F & C. I swear I don't know how he does it. We have a new agreement currently. I call it dangling the carrot in front of the...well you know what I mean. He'll be turning 17 in October and badly wants to learn how to drive. So I told him if he can bring home good grades next grading period without his mother and I having to ride him all the time that I would sign him up for Drivers Education. Further I told him that if he can manage to graduate with his current class (aka not have to stay an extra sememster to make up classes) that upon his graduation I would give him the Mustang. The cars paid for so if he wrecks it at least I won't be still paying on it. We'll see how it goes. He claims to be doing well in his classes but given his ability to lie to us about these things I ain't holding my breath.

In other news, My youngest, S has been growing....sideways. We were surprised that he finally agreed to play Little League baseball as he had said he didn't want to this year. I think it had a lot to do with the fact that two of his cousins are on the team and teir father is one of the coaches. Still it's good to seehim up and moving...now if I could just get him to walk with us!! Lastly, my little Princess V had to get glasses. She was a 2.75 in her left eye and a 1.5 in the right. Now I have no clue what those numbers mean but it is what was on the prescription. Of course Thing 2 didn't have money for glasses so I took her. $250 for 2 pairs of glasses and this was durring a buy 1 get the 2nd at half price sale. I figured as she is only 9 it was wise to have a backup pair. Of course the backup pair are not as stylish as the main ones but they'll do if anything happens to those.

OK, I've rattled on long enough for one post. I'll post again as time and my memory allows me to.

The Seasons

2006-12-05T10:06:00.000-08:00

dawdle

Main Entry: daw•dle
Pronunciation: 'do-d&l
Function: verb
Inflected Form(s): daw•dled; daw•dling /'do-dli[ng], -d&l-i[ng]/
intransitive verb

1 : to spend time idly
2 : to move lackadaisically
transitive verb : to spend fruitlessly or lackadaisically

OK, so I have come to the conclusion that the Holidays are not the best time to try and lose weight. I was doing so well...ok, I was doing OK but then Thanksgiving had to come around! I haven't been walking at night since the day before Thanksgiving. I have still walked at work but just not at night. I really need to get back into it...however that will apparently have to wait now. Why you ask? Keep reading.

It seems I am not the only one to dawdle in the family. D Jr. has been doing his fair share recently...almost to the point that I want to throw something, pull all my hair out and generally explode with frustration!! Aren't kids just great!! Seems he was ditching school again and doing nothing in his classes. Here is a good example of what I am up against.

*1000+ word MLA English report was due on the 21st. - Not handed in
*Asked D Jr, was told he handed it in.
*Received email from teacher saying no he hadn't and that he would give him till the 30th to hand it in.
*Asked D. Jr - said he will print it out again on the 27th and hand it in
*Email from teacher on the 28th...no report received
*Spoke with D Jr. evening of the 28th - he confirmed he had it on computer at school but failed to make it to the library to print it out again. Sent him to school early morning of the 29th so he could do this.
*Email from teacher...no report received.
*(see a pattern here yet?)
*Spoke with D Jr. evening of 29th explained if it was not turned in by tomorrow he'd get no credit for it. Offered to help do the report with him (this was about my fourth time offering to help him with the report).
*Evening of the 30th spoke with D Jr and received a sworn testament that he had placed the report on the teachers desk.
*Figure all is well that ends well and so have a nice weekend
*Monday the 4th receive email from teacher...no report received and further more the kids are not allowed near his desk
*Evening of the 4th final get confession that he has never done the report. Stay up till after 1am doing report with him. He'll turn it in even though he won't get credit for it.

The above is more and more taking on the aspect of the norm for all his classes. Don't even get me started with Math and Biology!!

The joys of being a parent!! Between the Math Tutor three nights a week (can we say Cha-Ching?) and making sure he does the work for his other classes it just doesn't leave much time for walking at night it seems.

I am determined but......

2006-11-28T22:01:00.000-08:00

Determination
Main Entry: de·ter·mi·na·tion Pronunciation: di-"t&r-m&-'nA-sh&nFunction: noun
1 a : the act of deciding definitely and firmly; also : the result of such an act of decision b : firm or fixed intention to achieve a desired end
2 a : the definition of a concept in logic by its essential constituents b : the addition of a differentia to a concept to limit its denotation
3 : direction or tendency to a certain end : IMPULSION
4 : the fixation of the destiny of undifferentiated embryonic tissue

The past month has taught me several things about myself. Namely that I have been a fool. I use the word fool instead of idiot so I don’t feel bad about myself. Why have I been a fool you ask? Because it’s true. Lets start off with a little biology 101 lesson on the human body.

Your body requires a certain amount of food each day and at regular intervals. If it gets this then everything is fine so long as you do not over eat. The normal human being will have a normal metabolism and their bodies will process food and burn calories as it should. However, if the body does not receive enough food and at the proper intervals for a long period of time your metabolism goes into what is called “Starvation Mode”. Basically this means that it takes all the food you eat and instantly stores it away as fat. It does this as it thinks you are starving and hopes to keep you alive by fattening you up. Yes I know there is a more scientific reason but for now this will do.

OK, here comes the fool part. For the past 20 years or so my daily routine has been to have a cup of coffee (heavy on the sugar and cream) each morning with a cinnamon roll and then about 4 nights a week to have a dinner. Now granted there is the occasional trips to some fast food place on the weekends for one of those “dinners” but basically I did not eat a lot. Due to this my body has been in starvation mode for the past 20 years. Now anyone taking a look at me would never guess I was starving! At 6’ 2” and weighing 260 lbs I cut a pretty large figure. Not your usual starving soul by any stretch of the imagination.

So the first order of business is to jump start the metabolism and get it working correctly again. This is easier said (or typed) than done. Firstly I found that it costs a great deal to eat more often a day. Secondly I discovered a reason why so many people buy fast food that isn’t good for you…it’s because the stuff that is good for you costs 4 times as much!!! I’m not so sure I can afford to eat healthy. Imagine my shock when I went to the grocery store and bought healthy food, paid around $100.00 and walked out with only 2.5 bags worth of stuff.

So now the daily routine is Oatmeal in the morning for breakfast. Yes with a cup of coffee (still heavy on the sugar and cream)
Mid morning snack of celery
Sandwich with small salad for lunch (after a 1 mile walk)
Trailmix or something in the afternoon for snack
Reasonable meal for dinner

I have to admit that there are times I almost feel ill from eating so much. We won’t even go into the other bodily functions that a large intake of fiber can bring. Still, all in all I am determined to stay with this and see what I can do. On a good note, since starting to walk I have had less back problems so there is something good coming of all this. On a bad note, I have realized that all the walking in the world will not remove my gut so other exercises will have to be added in to accomplish this. I’m thinking of getting a bowflex for myself and the boys for Christmas.

OK, enough whining for now. Check back later for more updates and comments.

One last thing, thanks to everyone who has offered their encouragements since the beginning of this Project Overhaul!

Walking, walking and more walking

2006-11-05T20:56:00.000-08:00

drain (drn) Pronunciation Key v. drained, drain·ing, drains v. tr.
To fatigue or spend emotionally or physically

Well, I have been so busy of late that I haven't had a chance to update anything here. Well Operation Overhaul is still going though I am a bit confused. Clothes are bagy, waist size has decreased yet the weight has gone up. Go Figure. Still, I did manage the 4.5 miles walk for Making Strides. My youngest son even managed to do it though I will say he was dragging backside by the end of it. Still, I am very proud of him for doing it.

I think I'm going to have to do more than just walk to drop the weight now. I'm currently walking a mile at lunch and then 3 miles almost every evening. I'll keep ya posted as I am sure you're just dieing to know.

Weeeeee! Dang, the weekends gone!

2006-09-24T21:02:00.000-07:00

Dash
Main Entry: 1dash Pronunciation: 'dash
Function: verb
Etymology: Middle English dasshen, probably from Middle French dachier to impel forwardtransitive verb

This weekend has been a busy one! I had the Princess all weekend and perhaps that is why I am sitting here late Sunday night wondering where the weekend went to.

Well, Operation Overhaul (that's what I'm calling this dieting thing) went ok for the most part this weekend. I did manage to go to the park and walk the dogs a great deal. Now that may not seem like a lot but it is. I had to take them one at a time. This means taking one over and walking several times around the park. Then walking that one home getting the other, returning to the park and walking that one several times around the park. All in all more walking than I am use to doing so it was a good thing.

Now due to the extra walking of course my back has been hurting today. I expect this and realize that it is a catch 22 situation. I need to lose weight to easy the pressure on my back but to do this it will hurt my back. I have hopes that at some point it will not hurt as much. Hopefully once I get use to walking again. I doubt I will ever reach the "running" stage as I fear that will place undue strain on my lower back and do more damage than good.

In other news seems I have to make a doctor's appointment for a physical. I've missed enoug days from work due to my back problems that they want me to start a special program ran by the state. In short it will allow me to miss as much as 12 weeks worth of work (without pay of course) and not get into any trouble. As it is now we're allowed to have 12 unexpected absences for the year and I am already at 11. I really hate going to the doctors and being poked and proded. Then again I do not want to hear that things are worse than they were a few years back when I last went.

I'll let you know how it goes.

Dieting

2006-09-21T16:39:00.000-07:00

damnation
Main Entry: dam·na·tion Pronunciation: dam-'nA-sh&nFunction: noun: the act of damning : the state of being damned

Yes, I think that is about right between the title and the word of the day.

For the past 4 days I have been living off of celery, green apples, bananas, peanutbutter and grapefruit. OK, so I do have a cup of coffee in the morning and evening as well as a light meal for dinner. other than that I have cut out all sweets. I even switched to sugar free creamer at home. let me just say that sugar free is far better than fat free as far as taste goes.

So why the sudden change in eating habits? I could use the old adage of "I ain't gettin any younger" but that wouldn't be truly..well partially true I guess. Ever get a good look at yourself in the mirror and wonder who the heck that person was looking back at you? We for me it was a photo and not a mirror but it had the same affect.

Ten years of back problems, 20+ years of not eating correctly to the point that your metabolism has slowed to a crawl and would be going in reverse if it could go there and 28 years of smoking....well lets just say it doesn't paint a pretty picture. So I have elected to lose at least 40 lbs with an open end date so there is no pressure. If I can do that then next will be tackling the smoking issue.

Now 20 plus years of not eating correctly is a hard thing to reverse. By not eating correctly I mean eating one mean eating one meal a day and snacking (not the good kind) lightly. All of that no doubt has the motab in starvation mode. So the first course of action is to get the metabolism working correctly again. I figure that alone will take a month or so. I've been chowing down all day long for the past 4 days except for in the evening on healthy stuff like celery, apples and grapefruit. I'm a regular walking V8!

Now of course there are other reasons as well. Losing 40 lbs will do wonders for my back I believe. When I injured my back I was an over slim 175 which means I am carrying around an additional *cough* pounds right now. I'll be happy if I can get down to below 220lbs. The other reason is I realized that it has been over 4 years since Thing 2 and I split. Things have been a bit lonely and if I ever want to find a partner for the rest of my life I need to pretty up the package and make myself more presentable.

So there are a lot of posative things going on here. Down sides are forcing myself to eat more often and the ungodly amount of fiber I'm taking in. I think my body thinks I've lost my mind! I'm going to weigh myself this weekend...wanted to get a few days in before doing that. Also next week gonna start walking during the hour for lunch and then again when I get home form work.

I need to find a "Pimp My Ride" that works on real bodies instead of car bodies!

Damaged

2006-09-18T16:16:00.000-07:00

Damaged
Main Entry: 1dam·age Pronunciation: 'da-mijFunction: nounEtymology: Middle English, from Anglo-French, from dan damage, from Latin damnum1 : loss or harm resulting from injury to person, property, or reputation

It's official! It's no fun being damaged. I hate the fact that I am getting older as well, as the damage seems to take three time as long to heal these days. After a great deal of work, my arm is once again back to almost normal with full mobility.

You ever have someone who is in perfect health standing over you saying "Oh come on, it doesn't hurt that bad!" Makes you want to reach out and just break something....on them so they'll understand that it does in fact hurt that bad!

Ya ya ya I know I've said it before but i really will work at keeping this up to date now. I am thinking about trying to lose some weight so I may use this as a running diary to basically moan and complain. While that may not make for good reading, it will give me a place to vent my frustration. If I can drop the *cough*cough* pounds I want to then I may have the will power to tackle the whole "Stop Smoking" thing. Why the sudden kick to get healthy and in shape you may wonder...well that will be a topic of a different post I think.

Catch ya later!

So Much To Learn!

2006-05-17T16:30:00.000-07:00

der·o·gate ( P ) Pronunciation Key (dr-gt)v. der·o·gat·ed, der·o·gat·ing, der·o·gates v. intr.
To take away; detract: an error that will derogate from your reputation.
To deviate from a standard or expectation; go astray.

Maybe it's just me. Maybe I've just grown old enough (ain't gonna say older :P) but I've noticed I tend to care less and less about what others think about me and more and more about what I think about myself. Now I'm sure to some of you this would seem like...well....DUH!!

The interesting thing is the kids nowadays. Let me explain. In my house the hub of activity is the garage. Not because I have a cool car or anything mind you but rather because the garage is the electronics capital of the house. Everything from PS2, xbox, computers big screen yada, yada, yada...basically everything kids crave. Most of the time I am out there with them minding my own business on my own computer. This of course allows me to over hear their conversations.

Now maybe my memory is going but I don't recall being as concerned as they are with how others peers thought of me. Yes, I do admit wanting to make a good impression on Joyce Myers in the 6th grade and all and there was Connie from High School that always showed up at the wrong times (wrong for me that is), but these kids seem to live and breath for what others think of them! They seem to be fearful that to do something original and out of the norm will will derogate from their reputation.

For those of you who are well past the High School years, was it that way with us as well and I just don't recall it? What further strikes me as funny that if you mention this to the kids these days they will deny it almost to the point of being hostile about it! They will feverantly swear that they are free thinkers and do whatever they want on the one hand but on the other they won't dare to step out of the acceptable "Norm" of their peers.

Boy do they have a lot to learn! :)

No One Home

2006-05-09T18:21:00.000-07:00

der·e·lict ( P ) Pronunciation Key (dr-lkt)adj.
Deserted by an owner or keeper; abandoned.
Run-down; dilapidated.
Neglectful of duty or obligation; remiss.

Yes, I have been derelict in posting. You can tie me up and break out the cat-o-ninetails later though as I am back....well sort of.

Life has been busy here for some time. Trust me when I say that this blog is not the only thing I have been derelict with. Life has certain priorities and family and work have to take the top priorities of course. I still wish that I could get them to makedays 48 hours long. I mean think about it....you work for 9 hours then have 15 hours off for lunch then work another 9 hours then have 15 hours off for the evening.

I'll see if I can't update this site more often than once every two months.

Is the glass half empty or full?

2006-03-21T19:34:00.000-08:00

de·cant ( P ) Pronunciation Key (d-knt)tr.v. de·cant·ed, de·cant·ing, de·cants
To pour off (wine, for example) without disturbing the sediment.
To pour (a liquid) from one container into another.
[Medieval Latin dcanthre : Latin d-, de- + Latin canthus, rim of a wheel or vessel (of Celtic origin).]

Strange how the above word and it's meaning can be actually used. As a parent we attempt to pour into our children our understanding and learning which life has taught us. We attempt to decant our children without disturbing who they are and their own uniqueness.

The first years of their life is spent with us trying to fill them up both in learning as in school but also in learning what is right and wrong. As they grow older we strive to teach them how to think for themselves....as we try and make them like we are ourselves. Ironic no?

I strive at trying to insure that Thing 1(see earlier posts to know who that is) doesn't try to make them conform to her way of thinking and doing things so much that they can not be themselves. As my oldest is now 15, it is interesting to watch him and Thing 1 butt head with each other. I think he has my stubborness which means in the long run he will win out. Still, it is entertaining to watch Thing 1 try to pour more in when the lid is closed and firmly sealed.

Buzz-Buzz Baby!

2006-03-05T21:46:00.000-08:00

dis·trac·tion ( P ) Pronunciation Key (d-strkshn)n.
The act of distracting or the condition of being distracted.
Something, especially an amusement, that distracts.
Extreme mental or emotional disturbance; obsession: loved the puppy to distraction.

There seem to be two types of people on this planet…those who can and those who get distracted. Which are you? S for myself, I am the later of the two. A typical scenario would be starts on task A, item 1…item 2 would go good with task C which can’t be done till task F items 1-4 are completed…..well, you get the picture.

Now for those of you who were the former of the two I am sure by now you have no clue what I am talking about. You go through life following the alphabet as if it made perfect sense to you. A, B, C etc…. All I can say is that you’re missing out on a lot of things by doing it this way. Think of it as going for a drive. Now you could take the direct approach and find the shortest route between point A and B (there’s those damn alphabets again!) but where is the fun in that? Sometimes it is perfectly fine to get off the beaten path as you can be amazed at what you’ll find there. Of course you’ll never know till you’ve tried it.

The down side to distraction, if you’re like me, is that you end up starting countless projects only to get distracted by something else. Please note that I did not say anything about finishing any projects. This, by no means is done intentionally. We have ever intention of returning to the forgotten projects and finishing them. We even allow ourselves moments of distraction thinking about just how we’ll return to them and finish them….yet we never seem to be able to make it back there. That illusive letter A always seems to slip out of our grasps as we’re distracted by K or V or some other equally important letter that drawns our attention as a moth is drawn to a flame.

So, do you go from A, to B to C, completing every task before moving on to the next…in an assembly line mentality or do you float free from flower to flower like a Bumble Bee…always to busy to linger any place overly long? If you’re like me then look me up sometime and we’ll buzz around together like bees…provided we don’t get distracted by C or D.

okaaaaaaay.......

2006-02-13T20:16:00.000-08:00

dream ( P ) Pronunciation Key (drm)n.
A series of images, ideas, emotions, and sensations occurring involuntarily in the mind during certain stages of sleep.
A daydream; a reverie.
A state of abstraction; a trance.
A wild fancy or hope.
A condition or achievement that is longed for; an aspiration: a dream of owning their own business.

You hear stories of people who have vivid dreams every night..”This happened and then this happened and then this”. Well, I am not one of those people. I very seldom recall any dreams I may have. I know they say everyone dreams it’s just that I never recall my dreams. Seriously, if I can wake up in the morning and recall even a portion of a dream it is truly amazing. This only happens maybe twice a year. Of course it could be due to the long hours I keep and hence I am usually dead tired when I final fall into bed.

Well, last night after only being asleep for 2 hours I had such a vivid dream that it actually woke me up. As I lay there for the next 20 minutes thinking about the dream many things went through my head. People say that should you die in your dreams then you’ll die for real. I’m not sure I believe that and I certainly do NOT want to put it to the test. Perhaps that I came near to dying in my dream last night is why even now, nearly 20 hours later I still recall what I dreamed about.

Imagine the world as you know it now with houses, buildings, street and the human beings that adorn them. Now imagine that this is all located underground and the ceiling of the rock above your head gives off the impression of day light and a real sky. Now imagine that the lower crust of society lives there under ground. Your poor, homeless, criminals, drug pushers and what not. Spread about the world is places where through a series of levels there is a way to the surface. It’s hard to explain but image that each series or level is the size of about a football field and has living spaces on it with hallways between them that eventually lead to the next level down. Eventually the levels lead down to the main level where the roads and such are at. Basically a complete civilization underground.

In my dream state the lower half of society was forced to live there well the upper half lived above ground and were, for the most part, blissfully unaware of what lived below them. Now imagine that something, many somethings were created or let loose below and went on a killing spree. Not just any something but something that was monstrous and only remotely humanish. Something that had incredible strength and the singular desire to kill. Now imagine trying to escape from these horrors. Imagine all that and you’d be close to my dream.
So what’s it all mean? Not sure. Maybe it was that burrito I had for dinner?

Can I start over?

2006-02-08T19:50:00.000-08:00

de·terge ( P ) Pronunciation Key (d-tûrj)tr.v. de·terged, de·terg·ing, de·terg·es
To wash or wipe off (a wound, for example); cleanse

Can I just start this week over again? Please? Pretty please?

It's been one of those weeks. No, not one of THOSE weeks, but still one of those weeks. So what makes it one of those weeks you ask? I wish I knew.

There is no one thing that has happened this week but rather a bunch of little things that in the course of a normal week would not amount to anything and yet here I am, ready to cleanse this week from existance.

Maybe the moons are aligned or I'm just unaligned..more likely the later of the two. Everything this week just seems to rub me the wrong way. It's to hot and is messing with my sinuses. Traffic is too heavy and making me late for work. I could go on but I won't as I fear once I get started there will be no stoping me. Let's just leave it at it is one of "those" weeks. Trust me, you do NOT want to argue with me about this...at least not right now.

Someone stop the world as I'd like to get off for the rest of the week.

Today's word is Day

2006-02-05T22:34:00.000-08:00

day ( P ) (d)
(d)n. The period of light between dawn and nightfall; the interval from sunrise to sunset.
The 24-hour period during which the earth completes one rotation on its axis. The period during which a celestial body makes a similar rotation. Abbr. D One of the numbered 24-hour periods into which a week, month, or year is divided. The portion of a 24-hour period that is devoted to work, school, or business: an eight-hour day; a sale that lasted for three days. A 24-hour period or a portion of it that is reserved for a certain activity: a day of rest.
A specific, characteristic period in one's lifetime: In Grandmother's day, skirts were long. A period of opportunity or prominence: Every defendant is entitled to a day in court. That child will have her day. A period of time in history; an era: We studied the tactics used in Napoleon's day. The day of computer science is well upon us. days Period of life or activity: The sick cat's days will soon be over.

Day. It's such a simple word perhaps that is why it is only three letters long? Yet, you would think that such a simple word would have an equally simple definition, no? Yet judging by Webster definition above you can see that is not the case. Why is that?

Perhaps we, as humans, try to overly simplify things so that we can spend less time on them? Better yet, perhaps we simplify them because we can not understand them so we must simplify them or suffer brain freeze or something as equally nasty?

Don’t get me wrong, a Day can be very complicated. We’ve all had those days where they seem to go on forever and al we want it to do is be over with. Just want the day to be over with…. How funny is it then that as I enter into what is most certainly the later half of my life, more and more I do not want the day to end? I have become acutely aware of my mortality recently…something I think I failed to even admit to myself. Certainly to no one else….except you here of course.

I am not certain when I crossed over from the point of thinking I had plenty of time to the place I am now where each day is precious and can not be lived again. Well, unless you get stuck in Groundhog Day that is! There was a time that I can recall in the dimmest recesses of my mind when the age of Twenty seemed a life time away. I was young, I was free, it was the 70’s and I had my whole life ahead of me. Now the age of Fifty is all too close it seems…far closer than I would like for it to be. The years seems to pass with increasing swiftness these days as one day blurs into another and then into weeks and months.

I read once, though I forget where now, that time does pass faster as you get older. No, it’s true. When you’re young, your brain secretes a chemical and as you get older it produces less and less of this chemical and that makes time appear to go by faster. If I could harness that chemical, reproduce it and put it in a pill I think I might one day be richer than even Bill Gates. How wonderful it would be to have a day last forever again as it did when I was a child. To start each day as if it would last a week. To fight going to bed because the day was still young even if the stars were out and the sky was dark. To see the world as I did when I was a child and to know that I still had my whole life ahead of me.

Maybe some day.

Today's word is Disappearance

2006-01-26T22:25:00.000-08:00

disappearance.
dis·ap·pear ( P ) Pronunciation Key (ds-pîr)v. dis·ap·peared, dis·ap·pear·ing, dis·ap·pears v. intr.
To pass out of sight; vanish.
To cease to exist.

Luckily it is the first one and not the second one. My apologies for the vanishing act and all. I was taking a break from most on-line activity and spending more time with the kids. You have to enjoy the time while you have it because all too soon it will be gone. Ya, I'm getting older and the kids are growing up...sosueme. :P

First, let me get caught up. I hope everyone had a great holiday season as well as a Happy Birthday (for those I missed/forgot).

Just a quick update here for myself. Nothing going on here. I think I have fallen into the rut of a rut...if that makes sense. Work, go home, getup go to work, go home etc......

Someone stop the Merry-Go-Round, I'd like to get off.

2004-11-09T20:43:00.000-08:00

Today's word is "Daydream"

Main Entry: 1day·dream
Pronunciation: 'dA-"drEm
Function: noun
: a pleasant visionary usually wishful creation of the imagination
- day·dream·like /-"lIk/ adjective

This is a wonderful thing! I have been a day dreamer for as long as I can recall and I am happy to report that it has been passed on to Djr as well. While this is good, this is also bad. I am choosing to look at the good side of it....well, good as I see it as Thing 1 has a different opinion.

Got a call last night from Djr wanting me to rush home as he had something for me. When I got home, there on the door was a neatly typed story of a few paragraphs. Scribbled on the page in a not so neat handwriting were the words "Dad, please read this when you get home and wake me up if I am asleep". The story was sword and magic in nature..which doesn'y surprise me as that is my fovorite kind.

Yes, it seems that I not only passed on my ability to daydream but also my love of writing, not so neat hand writing and my incredible ability to put typos in even the simplest of things!

When it pours...it rains

2004-10-20T19:34:00.000-07:00

Todays word is DAMP!

Main Entry: ¹damp

Pronunciation: 'damp
Function: noun
Etymology: Middle Dutch or Middle Low German, vapor; akin to Old High German
damph vapor

1 : a noxious gas -- compare BLACK DAMP, FIREDAMP
2 : MOISTURE: a : HUMIDITY, DAMPNESS b archaic : FOG, MIST
3 a : DISCOURAGEMENT, CHECK b archaic : DEPRESSION, DEJECTION

WOW who knew there were so many definitions for that word!

Well, it has been raining almost non-stop for four days here now. I think I saw my neighbor Noah, laying the foundation for his ark this morning.

Of course with the bad weather comes other problems. My back has started to act up again. Damp cold weather throws it into fits. I've had a pretty good past two months with it so I guess I shouldn't complain...but where's the fun in that?

Last night, got home and the kids had waited up for me so we could do a birthday cake and I could open their presents. Kind of made me forget about the bad events of the day.

40 Years Ago

2004-10-20T08:31:00.000-07:00

In 1964 (the year you were born)

Lyndon B. Johnson is president of the US

After riots break out, Panama suspends relations with he US

Cassius Clay becomes heavyweight champion when Sonny Liston throws in the
towel in the sixth round in Miami Near Anchorage, the strongest earthquake
ever to strike North America kills 117

Worst soccer disaster in history occurs when rioting and panic kills over
300 in Liverpool

Hundreds of white college students work for civil rights in the south during
"Freedom Summer"

South Africa sentences Nelson Mandela to life in prison

Kemeny and Kurtz create BASIC (Beginners' All-purpose Symbolic Instruction
Code), an easy to learn high level programming language

Nicolas Cage, Jeff Bezos, Rob Lowe, Elle Macpherson, Courteney Cox Arquette,
and Keanu Reeves are born

St. Louis Cardinals win the World Series

Cleveland Browns win the NFL championship

Toronto Maple Leafs win the Stanley Cup

"I Want to Hold Your Hand" by The Beatles released in the US, sparking
Beatlemania

The Beatles appear on The Ed Sullivan Show, breaking television
ratings records

The game show Jeopardy! debuts on television

Mary Poppins, starring Julie Andrews, is the top grossing film

What a Day!

2004-10-19T23:45:00.000-07:00

Today's word is DMV

For those not in the United States that stands for Department of Motor Vehicles...otherwise known as the endless void of standing in line.

Well, today was a fun day...NOT! Spent 4 hours down at the courthouse trying to get the final papers on the divorce signed and filed.

Personally I think they do this thing the wrong way. I think getting married should take endless hours of waiting and signing papers and an approval by a Judge. Getting divorced should just take the two of you to go down and get a Divorce License, sign it, pay the $20 and be done with it.

Forms to fill out forms was the name of the game today. Of course the fact that we had downloaded the forms off their web site and filled them out only to bring them in and find out they don't accept those forms any more made it all the more fun. After 4 hours with a Family Lgal Facilitator (Nice fancy name for a paper pusher) I was sent across the street to have a paper noterized when I suddenly discovered, upon presenting my drivers license to verify my idenetity, that the license had expired LAST YEAR!

So now I will be making a trip to the DMV to have it renewed and then to a Notery to have the paper signed. Then back to the courthouse on November 23rd to turn in all the final paperwork.

Did I mention it was raining cats and dogs today as well? Great way to spend my birthday no? Maybe next year I can manage something better....like getting hit by a bus!

I feel old

2004-10-13T17:54:00.000-07:00

Today's word is "Development"

Main Entry: de•vel•op•ment
Pronunciation: di-'ve-l&p-m&nt, dE-
Function: noun
1 : the act, process, or result of developing
2 : the state of being developed
3 : a developed tract of land; especially : one with houses built on it

Where does the time go? Am I really that old? What does time and age have to do with development? Everything!

Fourteen years ago where were you? I know where I was. I was at the Sharp Hospital…walking down the hallway with a 10 pound 13 ounce blanket wrapped bundle of joy in my arms...otherwise known as my first child…Djr. Man has the time flied past and that small (ok, so 10 lbs 13 oz is not all that small) bundle has some how, against my permission (and knowledge) has developed into a young man of 14. Damn I feel old!

Excuse me while I take a walk down memory lane:

1st year – Unlike some fathers, I actually looked forward to getting up in the middle of the night to nurse and change my little rug rat. Many nights I would fall asleep, slouched in the rocking chair with the bundle of joy and pride on my chest emitting enough heat for a small furnace. I think perhaps that is why Djr and I are so close to this day. It was during this first year that I also discovered that he had a liking for potted soil. His mother, Thing 1, always had large potted plants in the house which were just at the right height for him to crawl to and help himself to the soil. Gave a whole new meaning to the term “Dirty Boy”.

2nd year – I well recall our “game”. He’d waddle over to the book case and proceed to pull all my books off of it and then site there with this “Look what I’ve done” smile on his face…proud as can be he was. I’d move him away and put the books back on the book case. He’d sit the patiently waiting for me to be done and then waddle back over and take them off again.

3rd year – Can you say Power Rangers? I believe that during this year I saw every episode of the Power Rangers they ever created. OK, I admit that I liked watching them as well….there! Ya happy now!?! Many hours spent snuggled up together on the couch watching the flips and jumps. I also recall doing a lot of reading to at this stage in his life. A lot of bonding time which looking back now seems like it was not nearly enough.

4th year – Work was very busy this year but I still recall the highlight of it. A Bigfoot Power Truck. This was a small version of the Monster Truck called Big Foot that ran on a large 9 volt battery. He drove that truck all over the place outside and inside when he could. He had gotten a bike for his birthday but never learned how to ride it because he never touched it. He wore out a set of wheels and batteries on his Big Foot. Of course I ordered a new set and new batteries. I lost track of the number of times I was “run over”. Good times for sure.

5th year – I think this is where things changed. Two very important events happened in this year of his young life. One, he started school and two, Thing 1 and I got a divorce. I was laid up with a back injury so before the divorce thing happened, I spent a great deal of time at home with him…taking him to kindergarten and picking him up afterwards (it was only half a day after all). Though things went south with Thing 1 and I, when he graduated from Kindergarten, I was the only one there to see it.

I know that they can not always stay the way they were and that as time moves on, so will they. Every day brings new experiences to them. Some good and some bad. Life is an ever changing thing and they will change along with it…no matter how we wish that they wouldn’t. While a part of my heart longs once again to be able to hold him in my arms and rock him to sleep while keeping him safe and warm my brain knows that he has to make his own way in life and the best I can do is be there with him when he does. Still, why do they have to grow up so fast!?!

He’ll always be my baby.

Time flies...just not fast enough

2004-10-06T16:39:00.000-07:00

Today's D word is decapitation.

Main Entry: de·cap·i·tate
Pronunciation: di-'ka-p&-"tAt, dE-
Function: transitive verb
Inflected Form(s): -tat·ed; -tat·ing
Etymology: Late Latin decapitatus, past participle of decapitare, from Latin de- + capit-, caput head -- more at HEAD

Sorry for the delay in posting folks as well as for the choice of words. The above term should be used for Lawyers as well as marriage mediators.

There I was believing that all was fine and that I’d be going to court on the 19th of this month and my divorce would be finalized. Thing 2 and I paid a marriage mediator $300 apiece to do the paperwork and submit it. There is a 6 months waiting period here in Cali. Well I never received word of the court date till Thing 2 informed me of it. Contacted the mediator and it appears that nothing has been done other than the petition to get the divorce. We has spent an hour and hal talking with the guy about the things we had agreed on and left his office believing all we needed to do was wait for the 6 months to be over. Turns out on the petition he merely said that we’d submit our agreements later. He even managed to put Thing 2’s name wrong on the paperwork.

Now, does he not only have the nerve to say that he’ll finish everything else for an additional $500 he also claims that I never paid him. Thankfully it was by check so I will be getting a copy of the cashed check to show otherwise. Needless to say this has not been a good week!

I wonder if I can do a double decapitation on him, starting with the lower one of course!

Breaking Eggs

2004-09-23T13:13:00.000-07:00

Today’s D word is dependant

Main Entry: 2dependent
Variant(s): also de·pen·dant /-d&nt/
Function: noun
1 archaic : DEPENDENCY
2 : one that is dependent; especially : a person who relies on another for support

One thing running [MC] & [CP] (ß hence forth to mean The Cheat Police) has taught me is that no matter how hard you try, you are always dependant on others. This is not always a bad thing but neither is it always a good thing either. Take [MC] for instance. Each squad has two leaders; each game has an HQ group made up of the squad leaders, two battalion commanders and a Deputy clan leader. The entire clan itself has a Clan Council made up of all the Battalion Commanders and Deputy Clan Leaders. They are my eyes and ears within the clan and help to make sure everything runs as it should. That’s a good thing.

The flip side is one of my Linux Admins. Most of our gaming servers run off of Linux boxes. Back when we first started getting our own boxes Tomcat, being the only Linux Admin set up the security on them as tight as he could. As he was the only one logging into the boxes via SSH he didn’t mind the strict security settings. As we’ve grown we now have additional people that need access and they are having a bit of a problem with the current security settings.

Having been dependant on Tomcat for so long it is like pulling teeth (something I know a great deal about) to get him to change things. He is a bit anal about security you see. Add into that that he lives over in the UK and there is a large time difference and perhaps you can begin to understand my frustration. It’s never easy to get someone you are dependant on to do what you want them to when it goes against what they want to do. Because we are dependant on him it is rather like walking on egg shells.

Last night I broke all the egg shells I think. I told him the way I wanted it set up and that it needed to be done that way. Surprisingly enough he did it with a only a small amount of complaining. Maybe he’s dependant on us just as we are on him? Then again it could just be a European thing.

I guess it is ok to be dependant on others. I know with [MC] it took me forever to relinquish control and delegate responsibility to others. I still have a hard time with in fact. I guess when making an omelet you have to break a few eggs…with running a clan I guess you have to step on a few toes now and then. Then again, if I could do it all myself I wouldn’t have to worry about that would I? Maybe it’s time to go buy “Linux for Dummies”

Hair Today...gone tomorrow

2004-09-20T16:32:00.000-07:00

Main Entry: 1de·sire
Pronunciation: di-'zIr, dE-
Function: verb
Inflected Form(s): de·sired; de·sir·ing
Etymology: Middle English, from Old French desirer, from Latin desiderare, from de- + sider-, sidus heavenly body
transitive senses
1 : to long or hope for : exhibit or feel desire for
2 a : to express a wish for : REQUEST b archaic : to express a wish to : ASK
3 obsolete : INVITE
4 archaic : to feel the loss of

Todays posting will deal with definitions 2 & 4:

From the trials of teenage hood to the pit falls of parenthood. My little Princess has, for the past 6 months (at least) desired a haircut. Not just any haircut mind you, she specifically wants her hair to be as short as her brothers. Her brothers all have haircuts that leave the average length of their hair about a half inch long. Trying to explain to a 7 years old that she can not have a boys haircut is like trying to explain to a wall the meaning of life. That is assuming you even knew what the meaning of life was in the first place.

Call me old fashioned but I have always loved my daughter’s long hair. It’s a rich golden color with highlights of blonde and darker shades of brown. Her hair, while not curly like my own does have an excessive waviness to it that when brushed looks so very cute. Little girls should have long hair. Granted that is just my personal preference but as she is my daughter, it’s my preferences that matter. There’ll be plenty of time when she’s older that she’ll be able to cut her hair however she wants to. Now it’s my time…or so I thought.

As you can well imagine, when Princess first asked for the short haircut, I wrote it off to the fancy of a 6 year old. Short attention span and all I assumed that the matter was done. I suspect she’s had coaching from her mother in regards to this matter as the topic kept coming up. Each time Princess was equally adamant about the shortness of her hair.

While the logical side of me can understand this wish for shorter hair the other side of me wants nothing to do with it. Her mother does not take care of her hair and hence it is often full of tangles and such. Sitting down for two hours while I comb out all the tangles is not Princesses idea of fun…mine either for that matter. That and the constant need to remove hair from eyes and mouth all the time are all the logical reasons which I understand.

Well, Saturday, after more than 6 months I finally gave in and allowed her to get her hair cut short. It was almost physically painful watch the long strands hit the floor at the salon. In case you’re wondering, I have the remains of her very first haircut as a baby safely tucked away in a zip-lock bag. So, now my Princess is sporting a very, very short bob hair cut. I have to admit, she does look very cute with it. Still, I miss her long hair. One of these days I’ll learn to say no to her.

What to do?

2004-09-16T15:18:00.000-07:00

Today's D word is Due Diligence

Main Entry: due diligence
Function: noun: the care that a reasonable person exercises under the circumstances to avoid harm to other persons or their property

Going by the definition above I can only surmise that my oldest child, D jr. is neither reasonable nor does he care…about anything. For those that do not know him, he is at that wonderful age of “14 going on grounded for life”. In the space or three days he has managed to get himself grounded from the following things;

Computer
Nintendo
Cell Phone
Playing Outside
Watching TV

He’s also managed to add an additional 12 chores to his tasks every weekend for the next month. All this in the space of three days. Now before you start to think I’m a mean parent, only the cell phone was my doing. His mother did the rest. I’m usually the nice one as I’m one of the easiest going people I know and that’s not tooting my own horn, but he’s even managed to push me to the edge.

While I know he is a “teenager” he has really been pushing the limits. In fact he not only pushed them he tripped over the line and fell face first onto the wrong side of it. Perhaps it’s because he’s the first of my children to reach this age (only three more to go, oh JOY!)…I know I don’t recall giving my folks this much heartache…well at least not for the things I got caught for anyway. D jr has always been the easy going one, much like myself, so it is a bit unnerving to see him behave in this manner. If I didn’t know better I’d swear he was possessed at times.

I think they should have a place, say like Australia, where parents can send their kids to between the ages of 13 and 16. Some place isolated with no way off of till they out grow this “condition” called teenager! I’m sure you’ll be hearing more on this subject as he gets older. I’m already looking for a good convent to send the Princess to when she gets to this age.

D Day +1

2004-09-14T13:06:00.000-07:00

Today's "D" word is: Donation
Main Entry: do·na·tion Pronunciation: dO-'nA-sh&nFunction: nounEtymology: Middle English donatyowne, from Latin donation-, donatio, from donare to present, from donum gift; akin to Latin dare to give -- more at DATE: the act or an instance of donating : as a : the making of a gift especially to a charity or public institution b : a free contribution : GIFT

That is according to Webster. I, however have a different definition for the word.

Do-nation: (pronounced doe-nation) [Let's work this backwards shall we?]

Nation: A community of people composed of one or more similarities
Doe: a cute animal that bears a striking resembalnce to a terrified statue a few split seconds before it is introduced to the front grill of your speeding vehicle as you fly down that country road.

By now I'm sure you're scratching your head in confusion as to just what I am talking about. Let me see if I can explain it for you without putting you to sleep.

In the gaming world we play on servers. You get anywhere from 5-64 people together on one server and have at it. It's lots of fun...unless you're the poor bloke paying for the server. [MC] currently runs about 20 servers across the different games we support. For the past 2 1/2 years we've paid for these servers through donations from our members as wellas renting servers out to other groups. Every month I send out an email to everyone telling them how much we need their donation to keep the servers up and running. Our current monthly server bill is about $1300.00. Some months are good and we get the donations. Other months are bad and I or someone else steps up to make up the difference. Well, the last 4 consectutive months have been bad. Bad enough to eat up any and all reserves.

Back on topic. I can't help but seeing the majority of our members as I described in doenation. You mention the fact that they may actually have to go without a bigmac once a month and they give you that look....like a doe caught in the headlights of an on-coming truck.

To give you a better understanding of my frustration, of nearly 700 members, fewer than 5% donated last month. I guess it's time to go water money tree in the backyard and hope it will sprout some $50's and $20's real soon.

On a different matter. Some may wonder why the letter D. Several reasons. Playing on line my "Official" name is [MC] Sgt. D`Organizer. A play on words in two senses. One, I organize everything. Two, I play shooting games and to deorganize someone with a shotgun at close range is a blast..in more ways than one. :-). Within [MC] as well as the various gaming communities I am active in, my name usually gets shortened to [MC] Sgt. D. Still, for those that know me and talk with me through email or over our voice communication server, I am simply known as D. I usually sign my emails with just the letter D. To lazy to type out the entire name I guess. You try going through 600 emails a day and see how quickly you shorten you name as well! :-P

OK, so it's time to work now. May post some more tongiht...may not. I guess you'll just have to check back and find out won't you? :-)

Where to begin?

2004-09-13T19:41:00.000-07:00

Well, I finally made it to ....Well, HERE.....Where ever here may be or may lead me.

Let's jump in head first and tell you that I'm a huge typo King. So please pardon any typos you'll find in reading though whatever I may type here. There, you've been warned.

Today,

Well today I had a tooth extraction. Not just any tooth mind you but a front tooth. If you've never seen your dental exrays let me just tell you that the front teeth have roots that seemingly go all the way up into your brain. I seriously felt like my brain was going to be still attached to the end of the tooth when it finally came out! I've had several extractions over the years, being prone to weak teeth, and none of them hurt nearly as much as this one....Even after 4 shots of novacane. All the more reason why going to the dentistry ranks up there with going to the doctors, IRS audits and giving the speach at a funeral.

My time these days is filled mostly with on-line gaming. That statement is a little misleading as I don't actually get to play any more. My time is taken up with administrative work I should say. I run two rather large and successful groups. The first is called [MC] Gamers (hence forth referred to as [MC]) and is a clan. Don't let the word clan scare you off, it's meant more in the tribal sense of the word. Most clans are anywhere from 4-20 members...mine is currently pushing 700 world-wide. The second group also deals with on-line gaming and is one I inherited as it's creator, after 8 months was calling it quits...It's called The Cheat Police and is an organization established to combat cheating in on-line gaming. At one point it's membership was over 11,000 but we had a database crash (several actually) and lost a great deal of the registrations. So far we're close to the 4,000 mark once again.

As time progresses I'm sure I'll be writing lots about those two groups as they are a never ending source of both problems as well as joys.

Though I will make every effort to keep you all posted in this blog, I make no promises as to just how often I'll get a chance to post here.

OK, I think I've typed enough for the first post.